Sunday, January 30, 2011

Well, This is Confusing

January 30, 2011
I was in class somewhere, and my teacher was standing near my desk passing back papers. Suddenly, he stood up and proposed to me. Mysteriously, I said yes, and he looked very happy. Later, however, I realized how dumb an idea it was to decide to marry my teacher, and I proceeded to try and think of ways out of the problem. My possible solutions included telling him I was gay, running away from home, and telling him I already had a boyfriend. Apparently, my dream self did not seem to think that TELLING HIM I DIDN'T WANT TO MARRY HIM was a feasible option. I proceeded to think over my options and talk to my friend, A, about the situation to see if she could help.
When I reached her, she was both my teacher and my friend. It was odd, and more than a little confusing, but I proceeded to have a conversation with her about herself, except not the friend part of her. After the conversation, she turned into her teacher side (only she looked female but was actually male? It was very confusing) and told me she was glad I was marrying her. It was too confusing for me, and I just nodded and then ran out of the building.
Much later, I was walking in an unknown place, along an older dirt path. On either side of me were green fields, and straight ahead was a short wooden gate. Up ahead, I saw a person I knew, a girl name B. I ran up to her, for she was standing on the path almost waiting for me, and asked her to help me make it through "the levels". She was wearing a great deal of makeup, and all black clothing, and I stopped short, for she had normally been the kind of girl to wear normal things. I again asked her to help me, but she laughed and told me I would have to figure them out on my own. She then proceeded to walk away, despite my best efforts to stop her. Crying slightly, I ran up the path till I came to a world of bright neon colors. This part of my dream was confusing, and not especially memorable, but there were bright flashes of color everywhere, and loud sounds, and something about storks that could jump 50 ft in the air.
After what seemed like a very long time, I was returned to earth, by the math building at my school. When I was on earth, something about the world I had come from was bothering me, and I was very pale. Seeing B again, I asked her why she didn't tell me. Quietly, she told me I had to figure it out on my own. Somehow, my dream self connected all this to the part where I was marrying my teacher, and I ran to find my teacher, to tell him my answer to his proposal (which I had already accepted. But my dream self had forgotten that part)
When I found him, I told him I couldn't marry him. Confused, he asked me why not. I told him something, something that was personal and deep, and he nodded. I smiled, having released this unknown bit of information and finally having found my true self. He then wished me luck, telling me that he understood why I couldn't marry him.

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